by Jarret Liotta

WESTPORT — I thought we were all supposed to be wearing masks indoors in Westport, but, like, uh, well, so … uh, well … are we or what?!

After Gov. Ned Lamont bestowed the power upon local leaders to implement further masks restrictions, First Selectman Jim Marpe — reflecting other area municipalities — added an additional requirement on Aug. 23 that masks be worn in all indoor public places in Westport.

So, in short, everyone indoors in Westport — everyone you see in a store, a school, a synagogue or church, or a municipal office — should have a mask on.

Okay …

But not everyone is wearing them …

This week I visited several local stores and institutions and was surprised — (well, honestly, not that surprised) — to find people not adhering to the mandate.

I was in two different food markets, in fact, and there were even staff members not wearing masks.

“We’re not enforcing it yet,” one store worker told me on Thursday — three days after the mandate went into effect.

At another market an employee shared how her supervisor simply doesn’t wear one. Likewise, their management and employees were not doing anything to confront several unmasked customers, who were just allowed to go about their business.

And those weren’t the only places I saw the great unmasked, without going into details … You’ve probably seen them too … Maybe you’re one of them — consciously or unconsciously …

Curiouser & Curiouser

At one store — out of curiosity — I asked a customer why he wasn’t wearing one and was surprised to hear he didn’t believe it was required.

“I think that may start next week,” he said, “but I’m vaccinated.”

At length he expounded on the overall effectiveness of masks, indicating there were arguments for and against, and with vaccines as well, and he went on for a bit on several angles I hadn’t even considered, recounting facts and such, and more such …

But then I found my mind drifting to my melting frozen vegan dessert and how I just wanted to get it home and make love to it while anesthetizing myself with television … So I excused myself as quickly as I could …

Human Nature vs. Subhuman Nature

At this point only a fool would think mask mandates are enforceable, or more accurately that the town — or state — wants to invest the time and resources in enforcing them.

How would they? It’s not far different from stopping people from texting while driving, which is ubiquitous. (Perhaps if $1,000 fines were implemented and the police department aggressively tagged those idiots who do so, it could begin to change the culture?!)

But how might that work with unmaskers? How long would it be before the police are faced with some clown who turns around and says he can’t wear a mask in a store or church because it interferes with, say, a hash brown he’s trying to eat while shopping?!

Likewise, do we really believe that all of those people who were frequenting stores and establishments two weeks ago without masks were really vaccinated? Do you think it’s possible that some of them simply lied about being vaccinated?! (Yeah, probably.)

So this becomes another one of those many situations where you can’t legislate behavior.

But what does that really mean?

Beware the Zealous

I’ve always been suspicious when people get angry or very emotional or argumentative. In most cases it’s about them and their pathology, not about the issue at hand.

To me it’s interesting to consider why some people are so belligerently zealous about unmasking. Why this issue in particular? Why not get so fervently emotional about being allowed to text and drive, or about government corruption or unfair corporate loopholes, or child abuse or pollution, or school bullying or boring class lectures, or people driving through red lights, or dogs pooping on playing fields … ?

In my experience — whether it’s for real health reasons or fear of imagined health reasons—there’s a large population of people in town, in the country, who simply feel much better when people wear their masks.

So why not just wear the frickin’ masks?!

Is it that much of an imposition, versus so many, many imposing things we face every day, like having to stop for people in crosswalks, not passing school busses on the left, or waiting for old people to finally make their way through double doors?!

I don’t know if the masks work — at this point I really don’t care — but with a virulent virus obviously still active, sickness and death even a remote possibility, there isn’t a great downside to putting the stupid things on for five minutes in a store or office, which is all most of us need to endure.

Then I’m completely free to rush home and lose myself in vegan dessert and television …

For a community that likes to talk so much about community, if it makes a few of our neighbors — be they ill-informed, neurotic, outright stupid or irrationally paranoid — feel just a little bit safer, I think that’s reason enough to wear the stupid masks.