By Jarret Liotta

WESTPORT — I spent a good deal of time this week with a new lady friend — discussing spirituality, the principles of dharma, and why it would benefit us both to shower together!

Talks — as well as negotiations — touched on a wide array of angles and topics, but in the end the overriding lesson appeared to be that everyone is different — individual — and ultimately we can’t be confined to the same structure set up for anyone else without some resultant withering in our soul, spirit, and even skin quality.

Instant Dharma?

I place an incredible value on finding one’s true purpose — your dharma (per Deepak Chopra), your meaning (per Viktor Frankl), your spiritual lobster (per Phoebe Buffay) … It’s something that an individual must search out despite the myriad messages bombarded upon them by a hyper-structured society mired in narrow interpretation … It’s something that an individual must be brave and focused enough to discover & embrace despite even the most well-meaning messages laid at their feet by those they love …

It’s very personal … And it’s terribly important, because there is nothing else but finding joy in your life and living it in the way that lifts your spirit highest …

Our Q & A

But let’s go to questions & see if we can’t explore the topic further … Yes, you in the back — the portly gent with the bolo tie?

Q: How does one even find their purpose?

JL: That’s a very fair question. It’s an individualized process, but I can tell you it centers on clarity and finding a quiet space to hear the little Jiminy Cricket voice that wants to guide you. Deep down I think we already know the answer to most — if not all — questions that pester us. The answers inhabit our heart. It’s really more about taking the brave steps — sometimes blindly — in the direction you’re called to go, often guided only by Faith (in its purest, non-religious sense) into a dark, scary forest of unknowns … But you’ll know you’re on the right path because it will just feel so right …

The Sound of Silence

I see another hand. Please?

Q: I’m being quiet, but I don’t hear anything?

JL: Sometimes achieving clarity requires some preliminary work — cleaning the psychic house, as it were. Most of us become accustomed to a large degree of noise in our minds — some choruses of which are perpetually recurring to keep us from going mad because we’re not ready to face our individual demons — so when we’re asked to actually get quiet, it’s sort of beyond our comprehension, because we don’t really know what that means …

Q: So what are you saying I should do?

JL: Well, you were jabbering all during my opening, so I’d start by shutting up.

Q: Hmmm … Yes, I can understand that.

JL: Oh, you got it now?

Unproductive Pain Relief

Of course, sometimes in our efforts to avoid silence — especially when it requires experiencing feelings that bring us discomfort — we strive to mollify our feelings and (in consequence) our clarity by turning to behaviors or things that numb them. While there are obvious choices — like alcohol, drugs and overeating — there are many more subtle ones — dysfunctional relationships, excessive exercising, and even cell-phone abuse — that not only medicate the uncomfortable feelings we need to work through, but cloud our clarity in the process so that we don’t have the ability — the tools, the psychic reception — to hear our guidance system’s lead when it comes.

When we don’t hear it, we not only can’t follow it, we become all-the-more reliant on second opinions — (often from idiots or an idiotic society at large) — to send us in whatever direction they want, with both good and bad intentions …

Sail On Sailor!

We have time for one more question … Uh, how about that fetching ginger blonde on the left with the tapering fingers?

Q: I think I know what I want, what I’m drawn toward, but I’m scared … How do I know it’s the right thing to do … and what if it doesn’t work out?

JL: There’s never a guarantee, ma’am … But fear is a paralytic and should not be part of the equation. Instead, sometimes it’s okay to make a tentative choice and start rolling your ship in that direction — baby steps — and see how that feels … It’s only a day at a time that we sail … If it feels right, just keep sailing for another day and see if the stars continue to align over your bowsprit … You can always change course …

You’re the captain of your ship … and that’s as it should be …

Thank you, everyone, and I hope we’ve all learned something we can forget by tomorrow …

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