By Linda Conner Lambeck
WESTPORT — While most Staples High School students are tested by physically navigating the large building, a Black couple told the Board of Education on Thursday their freshman daughter worries about moving through the crowded hallways without hearing “monkey” or the n-word yelled in her direction.
“Can you imagine?” Dr. Carol Felder told the school board during the public comment portion of the meeting. Her husband, Richard Anderson, stood by her side.
Felder, shaking with emotion at times, described an ongoing litany of racist incidents both their children, ages 14 and 12, have experienced in Westport.
She read from a screen shot of a text that she said captured a now-former friend of her daughter, dismissing a racist comment made by someone else with a “laughing my ass off” response.
“If you asked me today what the most difficult thing I’ve had to do, it’s raising Black children in Westport, Connecticut,” Felder told the board.
Felder said the incidents are not isolated, but chronic.
“If you asked me today what the most difficult thing I’ve had to do, it’s raising Black children in Westport, Connecticut.”
Dr. Carol Felder
She said that the family has gone through the process of reporting the incidents to school staff and meeting with school counselors as investigations were conducted.
Board of Education policies and procedures in place to combat harassment, racism and bullying, the couple said, simply don’t work.
Neither, they added, are the penalties imposed on the perpetrators, such as school suspensions. They want consequences that are transparent and that go on the records of those responsible for the offenses.
Felder and Anderson said officials need to call in specialists, educate themselves and acknowledge that the racism problem is chronic.
“I am not here to point fingers. I am here to ask for assistance,” Felder said.
Racism is “a Westport problem”
“This is not just a Board of Education problem. It’s a Westport problem,” she added.
She said parents need to speak up against racism.
Supt. of Schools Thomas Scarice offered no immediate public comment at the meeting about the charges, but spent several minutes in the hallway talking with the couple during a break in the meeting.
After the meeting, Scarice issued a statement calling Felder and Anderson brave for sharing their painful experience of racism targeted at their children.
Scarice: Racism, other forms of hate not tolerated
“Let me be clear: We do not tolerate racism and other forms of hate in our schools,” Scarice wrote. “When we learn that a student has been targeted based on their identity, we first take steps to ensure that the student is safe and supported. Following an investigation, we take swift, decisive action and those responsible are held accountable.”
Scarice said he can’t imagine what it would be like to suffer through the children’s experience.
“I do, however, know this: no student, no person, should ever have to face discrimination or harassment based on their race. We will listen, we will learn, and while there is no cure for the virus of hate, we will continue to ensure that our schools do all we can to fight against it,” the superintendent added.
He encouraged anyone in the school community who experiences or witnesses acts of hate or discrimination to report them.
Racism allegations follow charges of antisemitic bullying
The charges of racism comes on the heels of a complaint by a family that district efforts to combat antisemitic bullying directed at their son at Coleytown Middle School were so ineffective, they pulled him out of the district and into a private school.
Those allegations, which school board members said were properly addressed, made national headlines when the father, filmmaker Andrew Goldberg, posted a column about his experience on newsweek.com.
That incident prompted district officials to call for a public conversation about antisemitism in the schools and steps to combat it. The forum, “Addressing Incidents of Antisemitism and Bias in Our Schools,” is now scheduled March 13 at Temple Israel.
Both situations have some parents questioning the effectiveness of an District Equity Action Plan, which seeks to make Westport schools more equitable and inclusive for all students.
Tara Welch, who spoke in support of the Andersons, said her two biracial children have encountered nothing but issues since attending local schools.
“It’s heartbreaking coming to town, expecting to be safe and they’re not,” said Welch.
Donisha Diagne, who has three children in the school district, told the board she is terrified of what it might be like for her children when they enter Staples High School.
She said she has heard of incidents similar to what the Anderson family described and is heartbroken. “We can’t do this by ourselves,” she told the board.
“Shame on you for letting this happen over and over and over again,” added Tracy Miller, another speaker “It needs to stop.”
Board members react
Several board members said how sorry they were to learn about the racist bullying.
“I apologize for the experience the Anderson family has gone through,” said board member Robert Harrington. “We know you are not alone. We must and can do better. There will be uncomfortable conversations. We need to take it on.”
Board member Jill Dillon said it was painful to hear about the incidents.
“As a community we need to understand where that comes from,” Dillon said.
How effective is “climate” survey of district schools?
Ironically, later in the meeting, the school board took up consideration of a climate survey for students, families and staff that touches on negative or positive energy in schools, how often people are disrespectful to others and can bullied students effectively get help from an adult staffer.
Some board members wondered if the answers culled from the annual climate questionnaire result in effective change.
“We have a lot of data,” said board Chair Lee Goldstein. “Maybe some of what we are doing, we need to look at whether it’s working or it’s not working” to address the problem of racism.
The board also amended policies on non-discrimination of students and personnel.
Scarice said the policies and the response have to address both education and restoration.
The district is also working on a new code of conduct that Scarice plans to run by the board before it is put in place.
Freelance writer Linda Conner Lambeck, a reporter for more than four decades at the Connecticut Post and other Hearst publications, is a member of the Education Writers Association.
This is so incredibly disturbing and awful! It is time to start holding parents accountable for what kind of child they form! The schoools to not teach kids to hate! The parents are responsible for the kind of child they raise! This would be like blaming a school for a school shooting.
Parents: do BETTER! It is more important for your child to be a kind, good person than to get into the “ right” school! Shame on these parents!
Ps: I am shaming the parents whose kids are making vile racist remarks! You are not paying attention to your kids from what they watch, to how they spend their time, to what you teach them in the home! Take responsibility for who you are molding! Grades are not enough! I think we need to know who these parents are who permit their kids to behave this way!
I have known Carol Felder and her family for a few years-first as a friend, then colleague and later as my amazing dentist. Both of us grew up in lower income families and both of us chose to make our homes in Westport, largely for the academic reputation of the school system.
My kids went to Westport public school from kindergarten through sixth grade. During those years i grew disillusioned as I saw “mean girl behavior” and much attention to fitting in. When my kids were in sixth grade, I suggested they take the entrance exam for Hopkins in New Haven.
The difference was apparent from the first day. While the academics are strong in both schools, the accountability for your behavior was MARKEDLY different. Teachers, advisors, coaches were made aware of poor behavior and it was not tolerated. There was no “in school suspension.” You were expelled.
I realize here is a large difference in private vs public school costs and most people pay much in taxes to send their kids to Westport schools. Isn’t that all the more reason as educated people we should not tolerate bullying of any sort? I don’t buy “kids will be kids.” What do these parents think of their bullying children? Do they know they are raising racist kids? Do they understand how this affects developing minds? While I’m not suggesting they wear a scarlet letter, I think these students should be held responsible for their transgressions (hopefully those parents feel terrible and agree-scary if not).
Are we such a litiginous society that we are too scared to appropriately deal with this situation? Or worse, do our thoughts secretly mirror those students…
I agree that mean girl behavior is getting out of hand in Westport! I have vouched to get involved and not let it slide. If I hear a girl is being rude, bullying, or using hate speech towards other girls, I will confeont that parent. I talk to my girls about this all the time. They are very open with me abiut how girls treat each other and I am truly disgusted! I do not blame the schools! I blame a lack of parenting and getting involved.
So sad and disheartening to see Westport becoming known nationally as tolerating bigotry in it’s schools. Our elected and appointed officials are failing us. The response to this sickness must be strong and immediate. First offense suspension. Second offense expulsion. Immersive and concentrated anti-bigotry programs at all age levels. Certainly the victims, but also the perpetrators, deserve this. As do the town residents, the vast majority of whom are good kind people. “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” MLK
As a 1986 Staples alumnus, I stand with Dr. Felder and her family. All should feel welcome at Staples. So sorry your children got bullied. We need to stand together to oppose all racism and anti-Semitism at Staples.
The incidents of hate in the schools will not stop until there are real consequences. They should be suspended or expelled and their name made known. Why are only those families who suffer the bigotry publicized? Bigotry is learned at home. Make those parents known as well.
My family is interracial, and my children are fourth graders at Long Lots Elementary School. Thank you to Mr. Anderson and Dr. Felder, for paving the way for my kids.
I was taken aback by the comments I read above. I only read a few, but more than one person said, “we should know who the parents are that raise their children to be bigots or racists.” (I am paraphrasing)
I need to say, THAT IS A TERRIBLE IDEA!!!
Unfortunately, the “N” word has become part of pop culture. It is NOT acceptable for white people to say it, which is ironic because that itself is racist, by definition. Think about what we are saying. If a 13-year-old sings along to a song and is overheard saying the “N” word, or just screws up and says something deplorable like the “N” word, the solution is to drag their parents though the mud, and ruin their name, their life? Does that sound familiar to anyone?
The Superintendent said, “while there is no cure for the virus of hate, we will continue to ensure that our schools do all we can to fight against it.”
I respectfully disagree with that statement. There is a cure, for racism and hate, and it is found during the fight against it. Zero tolerance is a good tool to use in the fight.
I agree. Identifying the name of the parent is a bad idea. I think we just need to hild parents accountable, even for the lyrics to music their kids repeat, bc the parents should be teaching that the “N” word is not acceptable ever.