“The time has come for us to say ‘Sayonara.'”
The Japanese Farewell Song

WESTPORT — It was with an unsettled heart that I learned my last column created so much misunderstanding, controversy and confusion among you good readers.

I thought it important to clarify — if not rectify — the bulk of its bulging content. At the same time, let it be said that — even in my editorial exit, with this, my final “From The Editor’s Desk” column — I did my best to both confound and further confuse the public!

Let Me Make One Thing Perfectly Clear …

For starters, I was not fired nor forced out of my lovely job as Executive Editor at the Westport Journal. In actuality my photography and film work — which some of you know is my absolute passion — has blossomed and I simply don’t have time to give my role here the attention it warrants. (Visit my website to see my other hats, or simply reach out if you miss me & want to talk about Altman, Payne or Spielberg!)

It was, in fact, my recommendation to our esteemed publisher that the great Thane Grauel take over the helm of the WJ ship — truly, literally, he’s a blessing to the publication and to the town, given his background, passion and all-around nice guy-edness!

I, meanwhile, hope to continue a WJ association as his loyal freelancer, assuming he’s able to get over how badly I treated him when the roles were reversed …

The question remains …

“My Karma Ran Over My Dogma” — (Anonymous)

Regarding my children, it was somewhat of an exaggeration to say in my last column that I drugged my daughter to shut her up. In actuality I drugged her to quiet her down, which is obviously different … But you’ll be happy to know it didn’t work anyway and she kept disrupting me throughout my movie, which was a Coen Brothers classic involving dark satire not unlike my own.

As far as referencing my son as being “no good,” I think there are clearly multiple ways to take that. In the parlance of our times, it’s often good to say someone is “bad,” while conversely, calling someone “good” is not necessary right … or good … or “bad,” as it were …

For example, those around us claiming to do good work in the name of “good” may instead be little more than evil trolls poisoning our system with puritanical dogma and short-sighted grandstanding, controlling stupidity … (I can’t think of any specific examples at the moment, but maybe something comes to mind for you in comparison …)

(Your Pithy Subhead Here!)

Anyway, the point is that my referencing my son as being “no good” was clearly taken out of context and misinterpreted, especially by some of you more caring mothers out there … (though I won’t pretend there isn’t something vaguely evil about him, especially when he walks behind me with that silver-tipped cane!) …

But please, let me assure you all — even the most skeptical among you, who may even feel you have ample reason to be suspicious of me, doubt my abundant sincerity and just kind of dislike the whole notion of me for whatever reason — that I’m really not as bad as these light-hearted satirical columns may indicate …

In actuality, I’d probably benefit from the right bright, motivated advocate to help fashion my public persona and perhaps better represent me to the community at large … Hopefully someone with a sense of humor steps up …

Wag The Dharma!

Truth be told, I’m no more and no less than a playful wag playing out the role that playful wags play — a sassy social satirist with jagged but flexible boundaries and more comedic timing than I know what to do with …

If I’ve found any worthwhile and productive purpose in this life (or at least in this town) — beyond my noteworthy film making — it’s demonstrating an insatiable (if annoying) ability to make strangers laugh (or larf, as in the case of British strangers) … It’s just my dharma, for good or bad … or bad or good, as it were …

My only hope is that over the past year I’ve provided our little town with some sessions of satisfied tickled wit sauteed in the saucy, soulful broth of social commentary … Sometimes, even in a so-called serious setting in our all-too-serious society, we need the laughter to keep from crying … or from shrieking … or from indulging in arsenic enemas … etc.

“And So It Goes …” (Linda Ellerbee)

In closing I’d like to leave you with a few favorite movie quotes, none of which I wrote …

From Mr. Thackeray (a.k.a. Sidney Poitier) in my beloved “To Sir, With Love,” speaking to lovely Pamela Dare (a.k.a. Judy Geeson):

“Everyone’s got to move on. I’m glad I met you though. You’ve helped me a lot.”

From the questionable but fun “Back to the Future III,” with Christopher Lloyd’s lovely Dr. Emmett Brown speaking to Marty McFly:

“Your future hasn’t been written yet … Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one!”

And from lovely Gene Wilder in “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” per Roald Dahl:

“Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted … He lived happily ever after.”

Adieu!

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