By John H. Palmer

This last week was a long one, with a lot of news going on and a lot of things changing quickly. I had a difficult time trying to come up with any one theme to write about, but as I thought more, I realized that this week was about watching holes get poked into news stories like Swiss cheese.

Hear me out.

First, we’ll start with my last column, which as you might recall started with my mother poking holes into my grammatical usage of “I” vs. “me.” Some of you noted playfully that, yup, she was right. So, mea culpa, and this is my opportunity to wish a belated a Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms who celebrated yesterday. I hope it was a great one.

Picking holes into the Hamlet plan

Monday’s 5-hour meeting of the Planning and Zoning Commission showed commissioners poking holes in many applications before them, including of course, The Hamlet at Saugatuck, which is now the official talk of the town. Peer reviews of the application have been ongoing, and one in particular stuck out to me regarding parking.

Representatives for ROAN Ventures have been telling Westport for weeks now that the two underground garages at the development will be able to fit 277 parking spaces, which are 15 more than regulations require. Many of those spaces will be in the form of “stackers,” designed to accommodate two vehicles at a time vertically.

They’re apparently going to need those 15 wildcard spaces, because an engineering expert told the commission that according to current design plans, several storm pipes, sewer lines, and fire standpipes will be in conflict with at least five of those stackers and might result in lost parking spaces.

Next, the conversation turned to more talk about public safety, especially at the “blind bend” area of Railroad Place where the “waterside” garage entrance would be located. Commissioner Amy Wistreich, who said she has repeatedly asked for traffic and safety reviews from both the fire and police department, finally verbalized the frustration that everyone seems to feel about the lack of a realistic traffic study about how busy things could get during rush hours, specifically in the area where the “Barn” events building is set to be located.

“Why was the entrance at Railroad Place not included in the purview of the traffic study?” she asked. “It seems to be me that it’s very relevant with hundreds of people coming off trains from New York City that could coincide with an event at the hotel. There’s only going to be a stop sign holding up that traffic and we haven’t done a study. In order for me to get a resolution with ROAN, I need to get comfortable and the only way I can do that is to have that study.”

ROAN lawyers didn’t have much to say, except that they’d get back to them. Holes poked and water was leaking out.

Hunt Club neighbors poking the bear

Next, let’s talk about the Fairfield County Hunt Club, which after almost three years of planning and compromise with the surrounding neighbors, finally got their planned 22,000-square-foot racquet facility approved. The commission had agreed to put off their vote until after they visited the site May 2, after neighbors complained that pickleball games and HVAC equipment would make too much noise. Despite this, planners were convinced that the club had done all they could to alleviate these concerns – including agreeing to build the facility indoors.

After a 6-1 vote Monday night to approve, Hunt Club Lane neighbors said they plan to sue in state superior court over an alleged agreement with, (who else but Hamlet?), that would allow condo owners access to the club. Without any further evidence, and apparently taking club management by complete surprise, they allege that this would boost club membership by hundreds of people.

I’ll poke the holes in this one. This seems like an overreaching attempt by neighbors who want complete quiet in their neighborhood, and just don’t want to share space. To which I ask: why did you buy a house right next to a sports club in the first place?

Silence is golden, but noise is a subjective thing. Someone complaining of noise in a quiet corner of Westport clearly never lived with the noise of the Green Line trains on Boston’s subway in their neighborhood. I never pretended to have an apartment there beause I enjoyed the silence.

Then again, you get used to it. In fact, I kinda miss it.

Board of Education coach hearing stinks like Swiss cheese

Lastly, while most of you are reading this, the Board of Education will be poking holes in the illusion of due process, holding a hearing at Town Hall to decide whether or not to give a Staples High School soccer coach his job back.

Three coaches were suspended last August, following an alleged incident of physical assault by an assistant coach. The details of the incident have been unclear, but an 18-year-old senior varsity player, Jonathan Costello, came forward as a victim in the incident, subjecting him to bullying and a “destroyed life.”

One of the coaches – Harry Ocampo – came forward, and in a Jan. 18 letter to the Journal denied the allegations, calling for full transparency and a request for a legally entitled public hearing.

Back to this morning’s hearing. The Board of Education has been anything but transparent, and today’s proceedings toe a line. First, for some reason the starting time of the hearing has been jockeyed back and forth between 9 a.m. and 11 a.m., which seems senseless considering most people who have a stake in the process are – I don’t know – in school?

Next, the agenda states that the proceedings (or parts of them) could be held in executive session (or not).

Call me crazy, but this doesn’t seem like a process designed to give the accused coaches a fair shake at trying to get their jobs back and let their cases be heard. It feels like the board is merely trying to follow the law, while not allowing too much information that could affect a decision they’ve already made.

It certainly doesn’t make it easy for the media to figure out how to cover it.

That’s it from me for now. All of this talk has given me an urge for crackers and cheese.

John Palmer is editor of the Westport Journal, and has covered community news in Fairfield County and Massachusetts for over 30 years. He can be contacted at jpalmer@westportjournal.com.