By Jarret Liotta
WESTPORT — The real prevailing — and unexamined — issue in the ongoing leaf-blower controversy centers on lawn maintenance culture itself, and how truly stupid and insane it’s become.
What people don’t talk about is how ridiculous it is that homeowners feel this strange, insatiable need to make their lawns and driveways and sidewalks so impeccable. It leans toward the pathological and it wreaks layers of havoc on our town — and the environment — in different subtle ways …
There’s No Business Like Lawn Business
To begin, I’ll claim my own authority. Among the myriad occupations that weave the soiled quilt of my checkered resume, for a good year and a half I served as an active lawn maintenance engineer.
In my younger and more economically vulnerable years, I worked with two busy lawn crews led by two longtime Westport lawn-maintenance mavens whom I’ll refer to, respectively, as The Stick and Gomez.
Gomez served some big clients, including a well-known celebrity food and home-furnishings queen that lived in Greens Farms. Everything I learned about lawn maintenance came through his benign tutelage, including the fact that even highly manicured lawns only require two leaf cleanups per year — one around April and the other in the fall.
Why? Why? Why?!
Yet counter to the wisdom of Gomez, overly enterprising lawn maintenance businesses have convinced homeowners that their pristine properties simply won’t be good enough unless they’re methodically blown on a weekly basis, even in the middle of winter!
For whatever reason — conspicuous consumption, possession insecurity, or perhaps just general stupidity — people believe it. They contract with these gluttonous caretakers to have crews come out every single week to blow off lawns that — and believe, me, as a conscious former professional, I’ve borne witness to it on numerous occasions — have nary a leaf on them worth the blowing.
Yet they start up the backpacks and begin a ridiculous pantomime of blowing off the lawn as if there were any purpose in doing so.
It is with clear understanding, however, that by doing so they’re able to bill a new invoice each week, or justify a padded annual fee.
Weird Practices
Of course it’s not just professional mind games.
I’ve had several extremely annoying neighbors who, even throughout the winter, blew off their own driveways every week. It couldn’t have presented a more ridiculous spectacle — these nuts going outdoors on freezing days toting their personal gas-powered blowers and, for literally 30 minutes, blowing microscopic specks of schmutz off the concrete.
Why? Why why why?!
Have we in Westport deteriorated to such a comical reality that we’re unable to resist the all-powerful compulsive drive to meticulously clean our concrete?! Can we not live with the idea that our driveway — or dirt-based lawn, for that matter — might have dirt on it?!
Why?!!
O Lord, Why?!
Why why why?!!
Indecent Proposal
Meanwhile — and perhaps it’s ironic — I’m not even in particular favor of the selective legislation being proposed in the RTM to limit the blowers.
Despite the madness they induce for me personally — and let me tell you, as someone who generally sleeps from six in the morning until late afternoon, the merciless noise that barrels through my bedroom window because of these blowers is beyond belief — I don’t really see a great advantage in a small and somewhat arbitrary limitation.
I’m not impressed with the moaning of some town agents who oppose the legislation, as they claim it would challenge their workflow, etc., nor do I care that much about people who — like Harley-Davidson owners — feel their personal liberties are somehow tied to an inalienable right to possess and use a dumb piece of machinery that makes more noise and creates more pollution than a Once-ler would find reasonable.
But Band-Aid solutions are never the proper answer when there are much deeper issues influencing and infecting things. Real, meaningful answers require a depth of examination and that all-too-elusive willingness to engage in the trouble to change.
Soooo … What Are You Proposing, Mr. Liotta?
Well, People, I don’t think it’s an outlandish fantasy to visualize a town where it’s no longer fashionable to indulge in pointless lawn care.
Picture a Westport where many thousands of fuel-burning, carcinogen-creating hours aren’t expended by unnecessary leaf blowers … Where water isn’t wasted — (in some cases with lawn sprinklers going off during rainstorms) — just to achieve a synthetic sense of green … Where chemical-tainted woodchips and toxic fertilizers aren’t the order of the day, but instead organic nutrients and non-pesticide practices are the rule …
Picture a Westport where people laugh at the idea that anyone would ever consider using a leaf blower more than twice a year, or employ anyone to do likewise …
If We Envision It, the Jobs Will Come
As far as all those lawn maintenance workers (who are merely doing their jobs) are concerned, I would love to see their positions repurposed with more focus on true landscaping, gardening and environmental architecture.
There could still be tons of employment opportunities to care for Westport properties in new, quiet, ecologically sound and — I would vehemently argue — aesthetically improved ways.
Thinking Outside the Lawn
Why not let rock gardens dappled with plantings of ivy and pachysandra be fashionable, as opposed to those enormous, slightly soulless Astro-turf-like lawns that are made as a result of clear cutting?
Why not celebrate overgrown fields of wildwood cradled in a handmade wall of stone … perhaps augmented by new native plantings and butterfly-friendly pollinators?
Come on, Westport, let’s think outside the synthetic lawn and cultivate some sound bucolic beauty in this spirited ol’ town of ours!
.
The editor is right on target with his editorial on the leaf blower controversy.
A perfect lawn should be looked as the signature of an environmentally unconscious energy hog.
A pollinator garden should be a status symbol.
If a landscaper wants a business that will thrive for the next decade he/she should learn about creating beauty with native plants… it’s a lot harder to master (and more lucrative) than dumping toxic chemicals and clear cutting stands of trees —practices that wipe out whole species in order to achieve a carpet of green.
Public employees should be future looking conservators of our resources not embarrassing whiners who complain when residents want them to exercise health protective practices.
Right On!
Thank you. You are totally on the mark, Jared Liotta. The current lawns valued by Westporters are actually green cement. We need to provide landscapes that nurture native plants that provide a home for insects, birds and other wildlife. Lawns without weeds are full of poisons. Leaf blowers destroy habitat and compact the soil, as well as spewing pollution into the air, and constant noise.
Jarret,
Your comments are both food for thought and a basis for our Town to take an active stand by adopting an RTM Ordinance to restrict the use of Gas Powered leaf blowing machines. The RTM is actively considering the matter and a vote is likely within a month or so. Please e mail the RTM to express your support of this effort to restrict the use of Gas Powered Leaf Blowers. I also suggest you e mail our Board of Selectwomen. Last week in a work session three RTM Committees heard from the landscaping industry. Concerns were raised, mostly cost, but also that the electric blowers will not get the pristine result some homeowners seek. I believe a majority on the RTM believe, as do I, that the concerns are without sufficient merit to cause this Ordinance not to be adopted. Now is the time. Let Westport once again do that which is right.
A few points I believe a pollinator garden plan for the town was not supported Maybe it should be resurrected.
If the town wants to be environmentally sound where is the ordinance on car idling especially at the long lines of cars picking up kids at schools etc.? I do realize as with leaf blowers enforcement will not be easy but signs could be put up easily Not perfect but perhaps a reminder . Engine Off /No idling
Before gas leafblowers became commonplace in the 90s, homeowners were not conditioned to expect unnaturally pristine lawns. We lived without them before, and we need to learn anew how to care for yards without them now. From a habitat-friendly perspective, the author is absolutely correct. Westport needs to lead the way in this change, as we did for plastic bag and straw bans. Climate change is threatening the world and every positive change we can make now – such as reducing use of emission-spewing equipment — is one we should not hesitate to push forward.
Thank you Mr. Liotta for exposing the truth about landscaping services. It’s time for our RTM to step up and do the right thing: limit the use of gas leaf blowers ASAP. The RTM has heard from hundreds of residents who want the noise and fumes to stop. There is simply no reason to delay the implementation of this ordinance just so that the town can protect the profit margins of landscapers who put our health at risk by following bad environmental practices. By passing this ordinance, we can take back our quality of life and nudge people towards more sensible solutions when it comes to our yards.
Totally agree ! We need to get with the climate change program and this is an easy way homeowners can all contribute!
I agree. Limit the blowers and encourage native plants and meadow/lawns.