“That would be lecturing, Felix. I’m a singer, not a talker.”

Paul Williams (on The Odd Couple)

by Jarret Liotta

WESTPORT — I start this essay emphasizing my plan not to lecture regarding the madness of phone addiction and this lost generation’s inability to stabilize in reality because brains are literally captive in a virtual world.

But I had an epiphany today about personkind’s quest — nay, hunger! — for truth … and the sad irony that it crawls deeper into phones and online activity in search of something that will ultimately only be found by unplugging.

A Little About Me

I have many worthwhile epiphanies and insights while sitting around in my underwear — and only some of them involve my quest for clean laundry. In fact, I spend a lot of time ruminating not only on addiction to the cellular plan, but exactly what drives us to neglect the world around us — the babies we push in strollers, for instance, or our kids riding in our cars — to focus our attention on this little blue light we clutch constantly in one hand wherever we go, like our most private part held in hand.

It’s easy to see that it’s simply entertaining and interesting — all that stuff going on through TikTok and Bumble … There’s also so much texting to do and to have done to you! How are we supposed to feel even vaguely connected to the world if we’re not getting some messages — even spam messages about sex antics and weight-loss initiatives — sent our way … On top of everything, the assumptions of others — particularly in business scenes but socially as well — demands that we have those little peckers in our hands at all times, ready for response, raring to get fondled when the call comes in …

But …

Perhaps largest in this season we’re seeing, as world and national news continues to roil our serenity and rock our boats, our psychic, spiritual and emotional selves are feeling a desperate desire for truths to which to cling. My epiphany indicated that this may be turning out to be the real driving force behind our online addiction and — because that Internet pond is so polluted with half-truths, fatuous opinions, marketing ploys and utter bullshit — our desire for truth is not only not being satisfied, the quest itself is ironically exacerbating our frustrated need to find truth.

So Now What?

Well, this all leads back around — yet again — to a George Harrison-type of solution — namely that the only real truth lies within.

We inherently know this, deep in our spirits, of course — I mean, you don’t need me to tell you that, and of course I have no desire to insult you by implying you do — but the fact is that we have so much mental mire to wade through before we even begin to recognize it that we end up … well, missing the boat we didn’t want to rock …

So What’s Your Point?

I’m glad you asked. The point, really, is that there is very, very limited truth to be found in those quarters. Survey opinions and statistical studies are not even really all that true. The trends and stories about the trends are problematic, as the layers of relativity seem to swim so deep.

In this case, truth equates with sanity and we are desperately searching for it as a species, as a nation, etc. But in actuality if we’re only able to find our truths individually — at least get to some rock in the middle of the raging river that provides a tiny dry spot of solace — we’ve achieved something big.

So, my advice — and I know you know that I knew all along I intended to offer it — is to stop looking for any truths outside of yourself … find a calm, quiet spot in a field, forest, or a clean corner of your bedroom on the floor … turn off the phone … and just breathe …

And if anyone tells you the answer lies otherwise, don’t believe ’em!

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