By Kerri Williams
When someone special passes, friends and family often want to pay tribute to them. For some, it could be writing a song or poem, and for others, it might be painting a beautiful portrait or scene.
I often think of paying tribute through planting something – whether it be a shrub, a seedling or even an entire garden.
Honoring Loved Ones with Plants
For Nathalie Fonteyne, with the Westport Garden Club, tending the peonies in her garden makes her think of her late mother. “It was my mother’s favorite flower,” she said.
Nathalie thinks of a memorial garden in broad terms. Even having one plant that was transplanted from the person’s garden or growing one flower that the person loved can be a memorial.
“It’s whatever keeps that connection alive for you,” she said. “It’s something that reminds you of the love you shared.”
Planting a Tree or Building a Tribute Garden
For those who want a larger memorial, planting a tree or seedling can be a lasting way to pay tribute. My husband and I planted three red maple trees on our property to pay homage to three special people in our lives.
Each tree has a small plaque that includes the person’s name and a few words about them. My dad’s tree has the inscription, “For all he has given us with his hands and heart.”
If you are feeling more driven, an entire garden can also be a wonderful way to make a lasting memorial.
There are several things to consider when planning a memorial garden, according to Nathalie. The first is picking a spot where you feel a connection with the person – a spot where you are at peace.
A Personal Tribute: Baxter’s Garden
Our black lab Baxter loved to lie in the back corner of our yard where our daughter often sat on her bench swing. He was a loyal companion.
So, when Baxter passed away a little over two years ago, I decided to pay tribute to him with a little garden in that corner of our yard.
In designing the space, I thought a little about what Baxter had meant to us. I wanted to keep the memorial simple, with just a few plants in a small place, so it would be easy to maintain.
Tips for Designing a Memorial Garden
Maybette Waldron, president of the Greens Farms Garden Club, recommends growing native plants in a memorial garden. Many of these have the added benefit of attracting pollinators and bringing birds and butterflies to your space.
I collected flat stones from a nearby stream on our property to edge Baxter’s Garden. Baxter loved the water, so the stones are a fitting tribute. The ferns, myrtle, and bleeding heart in the garden were transplanted from other places on the property. I added some impatiens plants this season for a pop of color in the shady spot.
Nathalie added that you could include favorite flowers of the person or patches of blooms in their favorite color.
Providing a space to sit and rest can be a nice addition to a memorial garden. A bench could even include an inscription about the person or pet. In my case, the garden was already near the bench swing, so visitors can gather and enjoy a moment of peace.
Another idea for personalizing a garden is by including special steppingstones, a bird bath, or a sculpture. For Baxter’s Garden, I found a concrete statue of a labrador retriever for a centerpiece. I also used a shepherd’s hook to hold some wind chimes that have a particularly pretty tone. The resulting garden is a treat for many senses.
A Living Tribute That Grows Over Time
So, next time you want to honor someone who has passed, think about doing so with a native plant or tree. And each time you walk by or linger there, you will remember all the special things about them.
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