By John Schwing

WESTPORT — The intersection of Westport school district policies on bullying, student privacy and staff rights can, on occasion, leave Board of Education members frustrated, almost like being caught between a rock and a hard place.

Although he probably would not have described it that way, that was the case for board member Robert Harrington, who was clearly uncomfortable Thursday with rules that he felt restrict board members’ roles after hearing Staples High School soccer player Jonny Costello’s statement about being bullied after an alleged assault at a team retreat last August.

Costello, who spoke to the board and later filed a statement for the record, made public the source of rumors and recriminations that swept through the local sports community about coaches’ role, parental involvement in youth sports and the pressures that can lead to second-guessing, bullying and ghosting among students and parents alike.

The incident, which became known to school administrators when Costello was questioned after the athletic director received an anonymous tip last October, resulted in the suspension of several soccer team coaches and subsequent non-renewal of their contracts.

Costello, stating that neither he nor his family reported the alleged assault, said they nonetheless have been widely blamed for doing so. And since then, because “vicious and false rumors” have circulated about the incident, he said “my parents and I have been accused of entitlement and overreach in the court of public opinion when the plain fact is that all we did was tell the truth.”

The 18-year-old senior added, “I have endured everything that every high schooler seeks to avoid. Bullying. Shunning. Isolation. Not only at school but in the public forum. Think about that. Three months. For three whole months, almost no one talks to me inside or outside of school. I amlabeled selfish and entitled for the sin of telling the truth.”

And, he noted, it was the decision by school administrators — a decision his family had no role in — first to discipline the coaches and then deny them new employment contracts.

Board Chair Lee Goldstein, after acknowledging the “very passionate and touching” public comments at Thursday’s meeting by Costello and Doug Pardon, who criticized school administrators’ treatment of the coaches, said that when such disputes arise the board serves as “a jury” to adjudicate appeals of the administration’s disciplinary and personnel decisions.

That would preclude any prior discussion by board members of allegations regarding the coaches and how they were treated, she said. That way, the panel, if faced with a potential appeal, can make a fair and impartial decision “on whether the administration was correct and was not arbitrary” in deciding on whether to renew the coaches’ contracts, she said.

As of Thursday, the chairwoman said, none of the soccer coaches had filed an appeal. A tennis coach, whose contract also recently was not renewed, has challenged that decision, which will be reviewed by the board under its appeals policy.

Goldstein then tried to move on to discuss the board’s 2025-26 budget.

But Harrington, who appeared to be moved by Costello’s remarks, said, “I can’t just pretend I didn’t hear what I heard. So there’s no mechanism or anything for us as a board to discuss that matter?”

“No, this is a personnel matter,” Goldstein responded, adding that all such decisions are made by school administrators with no board involvement, unless challenged. 

“I’d like to table this now and not talk about this further. That’s the role of the board, and you know that,” she told Harrington, trying to turn discussion to other business.

A few minutes later, however, as Supt. of Schools Thomas Scarice launched into a discussion of the budget, Harrington tried again to press his point.

“I’m not good,” he interjected. “I don’t know if there was bullying or not, I have no idea, but I can’t sit here as a board member and hear those conflicting arguments and then say, ‘Nothing more to discuss.’ ”

“If we as a board aren’t looking at situations of bullying, then what is our role?”

Board Secretary Neil Phillips, however, said bullying and personnel are separate issues.

The coaches, he said, “have rights in this, too, so we can’t jeopardize their rights by having a discussion that could very well come before the board.” That is part of the personnel appeals process the board needs to respect, he added.

“So I’ll cross my fingers and hope there isn’t bullying going on,” Harrington responded. “I just hope there isn’t. Maybe there is. Who knows? We don’t know.”

Goldstein, her patience tested, reiterated that it is not the board’s responsibility to investigate complaints about bullying or personnel.

But that doesn’t mean, the chairwoman added, that “no one” is investigating. That role is carried out by school district faculty and administrators, who investigate every complaint received in compliance with policies set by the Board of Education, she said.

The board is not “ignoring” the student’s allegations, she said, but is relying on the administration to carry out that task.

Harrington repeated how difficult it was for him to hear Costello’s allegations of bullying — an observation that other board members echoed — but said, “Maybe I’m being wrongly passionate. I apologize.”

Phillips agreed the student’s statement was difficult to hear, but added, “It doesn’t mean that any of the seven of us, by not responding, are not caring about this situation.” A board meeting, he said, is not the proper forum for addressing those complaints.

Vice Chair Dorie Hordon said the allegations left “knots in her stomach,” but recognized that it’s the board’s job to “push the administration” to investigate those issues.

All complaints brought to the attention of teachers and administrators are treated seriously, Scarice said.

“We don’t pick and choose complaints, we don’t pick and choose reports,” he said, adding that all of those with enough information are pursued.

But, “We also don’t talk about students in public,” the superintendent said.

John Schwing, interim editor of the Westport Journal, has held senior editorial and writing posts at southwestern Connecticut media outlets for four decades. Learn more about us here.