By Ken Valenti
WESTPORT–Westporter Phillip Perri wrote an email on Thursday Feb. 5 to all members of the Representative Town Meeting (RTM), asking it to rename a Staples High School sports field to honor former soccer coach Dan Woog. The petition quickly received support from more than 20 of the RTM’s 36 members.
However, one member opposed the idea, based on “Mr. Woog’s openly gay lifestyle” in the school.
Perri’s letter calling for the honor mentions that Woog founded the National Soccer Coaches Association of America’s LGBTQ advocacy group and most recently was named as an upcoming inductee into the LGBTQ Sports Hall of Fame. It also touts his achievements as a soccer coach from 2003 to 2021 and his previous inductions into Connecticut Soccer and Fairfield County Interscholastic Athletic Conference halls of fame.
RTM member Victoria Wylie, D4, in an early Friday morning response to Perri’s email, wrote to the entire RTM that she would not support the proposal.
“I…have always been taken aback by (Woog’s) choice to be so open with his sexual proclivities and think it’s highly inappropriate for an adult to share their sexual preferences in a school environment,” wrote Wylie, who noted that she is a Staples High School alumna.
Wylie, who joined the RTM last November, wrote that she knew former students who chose not to join the soccer team “due to Mr. Woog’s openly-gay lifestyle, as it made them uncomfortable. Homosexual coaches with access to same-sex students locker rooms are, not only a huge liability, but evidently deter students from pursuing their interests and possibly result in losing valuable scholarships.”
Several RTM members objected strongly to the message.
“It is extremely disturbing and sad to see,” said RTM member Andrew Colabella, who is the lead sponsor of the effort to rename Wakeman B Field as Dan Woog Soccer Field, an idea that has been discussed for some time.
Colabella, a 2007 Staples graduate, described Woog as an “incredible, successful, loving, giving, caring individual” who touched numerous lives. He said Woog “was always professional, always kind and always courteous. He takes the time to stop and ask how you’re doing.”
So far, he said, 21 other RTM members have co-sponsored the field renaming, with only Wylie objecting.
RTM member Adam Drake objected in particular to Wylie’s use of the phrases “sexual proclivity” and “lifestyle” to describe someone’s sexual orientation.
“I feel like her use of language was really shocking to me, especially from an elected official,” he said.
Wylie declined to comment further in a text to the Westport Journal, saying that the matter should be discussed in a public RTM meeting.
Woog, who also produces the Westport blog 06880, declined to comment on the issue. He said, however, that he was honored by the field renaming proposal.
“I’m seldom speechless but I am (now),” he said. “It is a tremendous honor. I have loved being able to go to work in the community that I grew up in. I’ve never done anything looking for accolades.” He added, “I stand on the shoulders of many people who have supported me along the way.”
An online petition to rename Wakeman B Field as Dan Woog Soccer Field already has more than 275 signatures.
Westport Pride issued a statement in praise of Woog, who is a Board member of the organization, and in celebration of his recent Hall of Fame selection and the soccer field renaming proposal.
“When communities honor LGBTQ+ leaders, it’s a reflection of our values — that visibility, integrity, and service matter. And that all young people benefit when fairness, not fear, is what guides us,” the statement said.
Woog served as the Staples High School soccer coach from 2003 to 2021, after serving many years as assistant coach. He co-founded the Westport Soccer Association in 1975 – the year he graduated Brown University and began coaching.
“Naming a soccer field in honor of Dan Woog would recognize not only an extraordinary coaching career, but a legacy of courage, leadership, and inclusion that has had a national—and lasting—impact on youth, athletics, and education,” the petition says.
As Staples head coach, the petition says, Woog “built a program defined by excellence and integrity.”
His teams won four Fairfield County Interscholastic Athletic Conference (FCIAC) championships and a state title, it says. In addition to his accomplishments, the petition says, “he touched and guided the lives of countless young athletes and coaches, teaching lessons that extended far beyond the field.”
Ken Valenti
A career journalist and lifelong resident of the New York City region, Ken Valenti has enjoyed decades of reporting local, regional and national news in New York and Connecticut. Topics of special interest are development, the environment, Long Island Sound and transportation. When not reporting, he’s always on the lookout for the perfect coffee shop or used book sale.
Wow- I am beyond disappointed that Victoria Wiley, an elected official, would use the words she chose in objecting to naming the field after Dan Woog. Dan represents exactly what makes this town so amazing, Victoria Wiley surely does not. She can have the 15 minutes of attention she clearly needs but she will never dim the light of anyone who has contributed to and loved this town the way that Dan has.
I echo everything that Ms. Fazio wrote only I take it one step further. If they do not vote to name that field after Dan Woog there will be a host of very angry people in Westport. He is one of us and has been for decades. Player, coach and journalist. If Ms. Wylie actually knows ( which I doubt) any boys so unsure of their manhood that they would refuse to play for a winning coach she should have come forth years ago and complained.
I am asking all to support this effort with my 21 co-sponsors in naming the field!!!
https://c.org/QFqPk5NV8d
Click the link and sign in support of Coach Woog!!
Disappointing.
To all those that believe Westport is insulated from what is happening nationally, in Minneapolis, in Ohio, in Oregon, and elsewhere, wake up.
MAGA and Project 2025 found their way to the RTM and Board of Ed right here in Westport. Yes Westport.
This starts at home. There is nothing more important than local elections. Local government is the foundation of a democracy. Pay attention.
It sure is disappointing that the far left of Westport, secure in the knowledge that their effusive praise of anything gay will flood them with reflected love and approbation, condemn anyone with a different, more traditional viewpoint. The country is moving away from the ridiculous attitude that “gay” should be an accomplishment on a resume. Westport is not insulated from Minneapolis. Ohio, etc. it is embracing those same values which are contradictory to those of the majority of the country and contradictory to common sense.
It is the insufferable intolerance of the far right that creates a chasm in the freedom of beliefs.
I do not consider myself “far” anything.
But I will defend everyone’s right to live as they believe under the universal code of a humane morality.
Respect for LGBTQ+ people is not “effusive praise” nor a résumé line—it is a basic acknowledgment of dignity and equal citizenship. Disagreement is part of a healthy democracy, but denying or diminishing a group’s humanity is not a “traditional viewpoint,” nor is it common sense. Communities like Westport are not chasing approval; they are choosing inclusion, which remains a core American value.
I have news for you Ms. Wylie. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the majority of the people in this country support marriage equality and I guarantee you that the majority of the people in this country have a family member or a friend who is gay. You yourself probably have a relative who is gay. If you do, you are lucky. Dan has been an ally, teacher, and friend to so many people in this town and elsewhere. To disparage him in any way is so ugly and reflects your cruel judgement of someone you don’t know very well. If you knew Dan, you would never have written your despicable comments.
I support the naming of the field after Dan. I think it is long overdue.
And your idiotic comment about “traditional” viewpoint went out the window decades ago. It is code language that no longer belongs in the lexicon. You can speak to Dewey Loselle about that.
Being the Republican that you are, you must know that J.D. Vance’s boyfriend is Peter Thiel, a very out gay man.
I have news for you Miss Gates, most people don’t care what anybody else does in their bedroom unless it affects them. The pendulum went far far left on this subject, to the point of ridiculous pronoun police, disgusting sexual literature in schools and canceling of anyone who does not embrace homosexuality and all of it’s various iterations. The completely over the top, hyperbolic rantings in this venue are actually quite laughable. I must have missed something because clearly thus honor is not enough. Let’s look into Mt. Rushmore or or at least a statue in Washingto D.C.
I’m with Sharon, yes Dan a great guy. Sexual presence in all schools should be silent by teachers and authorities. Westport always very accepting place, but this gay thing is really annoying. Heterosexuals don’t run around announcing their preferences and quite frankly I could care less of anyone’s sexual choice, but Dan has always been very out and I think it’s a distraction from sports and education. It is no ones business what your preference is. It’s like voting used to be, no ones business. Don’t feel writing stories about Westport and being a coach is a huge contribution to the town, but a huge plug for LGBTQ. Don’t care how anyone feels about me and I have plenty of gay friends and people in my life, they don’t make that their identity for all to know.
If you hear that someone is gay and your mind immediately goes to their sex life and not the multitude of ways that love manifests in a relationship, I think you have a problem and should seek help (and marriage counseling.)
But do your gay friends know that you say things like “this gay thing is really annoying. ” ?
Mr. Valenti’s article reinforces my impression that the “virtue” and “accomplishment” of being gay is the overwhelming reason for giving an award to Dan Woog. I am not a sports follower and do not know how successful the soccer team was under Mr. Woog but that should have been the reason for the honor, if warranted. Additionally, the personality and charisma of the potential awardee is frequently the reason for proposing such a move. My two kids were at Staples in the Woog era and did not like Mr. Woog who they described as negative and abrupt in most interactions. In fact, aside from being a coach I did not really know what his role at school was but was aware of his advocacy of all things gay. The truth is, teachers, coaches, advisors, etc. should not be wading into the sex lives of children. It is the parents place to handle those issues. Previous to the so called gay rights movement, children had no idea what the sexual preferences of school staff were because there was and still is virtually no reason why they should.
It’s actually in the article, if you bothered to read it.
“His teams won four Fairfield County Interscholastic Athletic Conference (FCIAC) championships and a state title” His accomplishments in the town are being recognized, not his sexual orientation.
Ms. Wylie, you are making this about sex. From the beginning of time, families, communities, and religious organizations have celebrated love, connection and commitment. You are characterizing the LGBTQ movement and its supporters as having an alternative agenda, when in fact their agenda has always been about inclusion. Throwing out tropes about “leftist” agendas is a distraction from what this is really about, and what is at stake.
I disagree that prior to the “so called gay right’s movement” children had no idea “what the sexual preference of school staff were.” The default perception/belief prior to that time, was that everyone led heterosexual lives. So, asking for visibility is not flaunting something. It is showing that you exist and want to be a valued part of the community. I assume you have been to wedding showers, weddings,baby showers, anniversary parties, etc. Are you flaunting your heterosexual “proclivities” when you participate in these social celebrations? When you share information about family at your work, school, or church…is it your intention to make a display of your heterosexuality?, or are you sharing important information about the people who are important to you…about the nature of your connections and your care for the people in your lives?
Dan is an amazing member of this community and so deserves this honor. Thank you Dan for everything.
It pains me that we are having this conversation in the year 2026. To be sure Ms. Wylie is entitled to her opinion and to her questionable – almost certainly wrong – assertion that she is in the majority. It’s a shame that a single voice can create such controversy in a town the size of Westport. The larger lesson is that this is but one small example of minority rule in the age of Trump
Being gay is not a “sexual proclivity,” an agenda, or something shared in a school like a lesson plan. It’s simply who someone is. Reducing a respected educator and coach to his identity to cast suspicion is dehumanizing.
Westport is represented by dignity, inclusion, and respect, not fear-based rhetoric. It’s a beacon that recognizes the humanity and contributions of its neighbors, gay or straight.
Dan’s honor is due to his nearly five decades of youth development and education, building programs, mentoring students, and shaping lives with love, discipline, and integrity. He stood for free speech and the right of young people to be themselves, elevating Staples soccer and the community through commitment and service.
Dan’s openness about his sexuality, despite the risk, helped countless students feel seen and safe. Dan taught students that Westport is home to all, and safe for all. He did exactly what a teacher, a professional would do.
The insinuation that a gay coach is a “liability” in a locker room is an old, harmful stereotype without basis in fact. Sexual orientation does not equate to misconduct; character does. Dan’s character has been consistently demonstrated for decades.
Westport thrives on inclusion, and we can disagree about policy, but suspicion rooted in identity is not debate—it’s discrimination.
Honoring Dan’s lifetime of service is not political; it’s community memory and gratitude. He is recognized for his contributions, mentorship, and consistent support for Westport students.
That defines him. And who Dan loves? It’s Westport, and all who live here and beyond.
Further, as lead petitioner, I am urging all 21 co-sponsors to share the petition, for public involvement, because I always look to involve the public on anything where they can be seen and heard and have their fingerprint on it.
This smoldering little fire of libel and hatred, is done. Westport RTM represents all, across all districts. Don’t talk about it, be about it and do it. I refuse to sit silent and idle, because that is complacency—our worst enemy.
This is about what Dan has done, and this effort is steam rolling full speed ahead.
Just so you know, a libel accusation can be actionable as libel when the accusation is made in writing to a third party, as was done here. Be very careful about what you are writing .
Well said Andrew. Thank you
WOW! How disappointing, to say the least, that we are represented by someone so homophobic and narrow minded in this day and age. While this is America, and everyone has the right to their own opinions, I hope voters in her district will not re-elect Ms. Wylie for a second term. To most everyone else in Westport, Dan Woog is a town treasure. He is our eyes and ears through his 06880 blog, a revered coach and a long time supporter of Players at Staples.Let’s do the right thing and get this field renamed in his honor.
The choice regarding Dan Woog should be a simple one. Of course this honor should be granted.
I am deeply disappointed by Victoria Wylie’s comments. I hope she will immediately apologize to Dan and to the broader community. This is 2026, and comments like this should not be tolerated in any way, shape, or form.
This has nothing to do with “woke” versus “non-woke.” That framing is a distraction. This is about basic decency and equal treatment.
In response to Sharon Wylie’s comments about Dan Woog being gay should be a disqualifier for naming a field after him, I feel compelled to write.
Let’s be honest, the real issue is Dan being short. Many people believe being short is a choice that people make. First, it starts with choosing your parents, add to that not having enough water while growing up and finally in gym class not doing enough pull ups to help stretch the body.
It is estimated that short people cost the economy billions of dollars. Think of the need for a step stool market, the need for car’s seats to move as forward as they do, as well as higher heels or stilts. Beyond that, there are the major inconvenience of being asked to reach in the supermarket to the top shelf, get dishes down from tall cabinets and being the one in the house that must change ceiling light bulbs.
Many woke Westporters even have friends who are short. We all know we all should only associate with people who are just like us and have the same beliefs. God forbid these short people will brainwash our children to think shortness is ok.
In closing, we need to force people to not be who they are and conform to our artificial “norm” that only exists in some people’s mind. The long and short of it (pun intended) is shortness is harmful to all of us.
P.S. Although I am a straight tall person, I am happily married to a short person and have several LGBTQ+ friends. As much as someone has the right to be short, someone has the right to be gay and love who they want. Short people as well as gay people have the right to be honored by naming a field after them for their service to the community just like tall, straight people.
Being gay is neither disqualifier nor reason to name a field in his honor. That should be based on his popularity as a coach and winning record. I never said any such thing as being gay is a disqualifier. My kids were in Staples during his time there and did not care for him. They never experienced the caring, loving aspects of his personality while there. Maybe you had to be a member of the club he founded, I don’t know.
You said it yourself, Sharon. Being gay isn’t a disqualifier and the decision should instead be made on popularity as a coach and winning record. By that standard, Dan is a shoe in. This town treasures him and he has a winning record as a coach for almost 2 decades.
Sharon, are you Vicky’s mom? Rotted little apple didn’t fall far from the decaying tree, now did it? So your kids didn’t like Dan Woog (probably because they were insufferable little hate mongers) and now they want to hold on to that grudge by attacking him?
The town has spoken. We love Dan Woog. He has been part of the heart of Westport. Not the stuffy, uptight, Westport that people often picture when they hear the name of the town. Instead, he is the friendly, down to earth, boots on the ground, salt of the earth side of Westport that doesn’t get enough credit.
I’m glad he is getting the support of students, current and past, as well as old Westport families who appreciate all he has done.
Meanwhile, the Wylie family has now been exposed as hateful and outdated in their beliefs. At least we all know now where the rot in town grows, and it’s at your house.
I love you Bruce Schneider, even if you are tall and straight.
While I’m absolutely sickened by these disgusting comments I’m happy the Journal brought them to light. This kind of ignorance should be exposed. I’ve known Dan well 10+ years and despite spending hours talking, drinking coffee, etc he’s never once mentioned his sexuality, if he did I’d be happy to talk about it. He’s one of the most selfless human beings gs I’ve ever met and a treasure this town is lucky to have.
Do you think it ever got mentioned in the high school? That is more to the point. What exactly would the discussions be about in the gay club? After seeing the books recommended by the gay advocates for kids to read in our schools I certainly have some concerns about that. Nobody cares what he discussed with you.
Dan Woog 100% deserves the recognition of having the Wakeman field named after him, end of story.
As far as Victoria Wylie is concerned, what an absolute embarrassment. I can’t be bothered to break down her ‘complaints’, each more ridiculous than the last, other than to say I’m shocked that she has somehow found her way into an elected position in Westport
I came on this site to honor a true son of Westport who recently passed away. Now i find myself at the pleasure to reading the many stories of Westport. A town where my mother was born and raised as well i myself. Staples 1974. I remember Dan Woog form the early 70’s covering the sports and other news for the Westport News. I still have the clippings from his sports coverage and to be honored to have been written up many times along with my teammates. 50 years have passed and a entire new generation has passed. I can only say that i hope there is a remedy for this and hate a division will pass.
I am proud to live in a town that places such a high value on inclusiveness and kindness. While I welcome varied opinions on the RTM, including those that differ from my own, I strongly disagree with Ms Wylie’s statements. I look forward to a public debate and a decisive vote on this matter at an upcoming RTM meeting.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I mean, really. Dan Woog is one of the most important, influential, and generous home-grown Westporters *of all time*. He was my substitute gym teacher 50 years ago! Today, his 06880 blog is his valiant attempt to weave the threads of the town together now that traditional local newspapers, which were so important, can no longer do the job. It feels like every day I wake up to some piece of news that ruins my day. This one will ruin my week. RTM, do the right thing. It’s pretty obvious.
Victoria Wylie wrote a hateful, racist, homophobic comment here in the Journal in I believe 2024. I believe she is banned here on the site although her mother posts quite frequently on anything that hints of diversity. It’s all pretty horrible. Victoria ran for RTM representing my district in November after there was a vacancy. Unfortunately she snuck in last place and received the lowest amount of votes of any RTM member across town.
Let’s not give them any more space. Let’s use this as a learning opportunity about just who some people are and a reminder of what we as a town, and a country face.
Dan Woog is an absolute treasure so lets not let hate speak louder than love. In Bad Bunny’s amazing show last night we saw – Love is more powerful than hate !
“Hateful racist and homophobic”? What was that? Disagreeing with leftists always results in the same charges. And yet, there is nothing more hateful than a leftist as demonstrated in this thread. No divergence from the leftist opinion will be tolerated. Fortunately, you do not get to form other people’s opinion….2+2 will still be 4, whether you like it or not. And the truth is the truth, even when the truth is uncomfortable.
You are absolutely right: no one gets to form the opinions of others. We all get to stand up against prejudice.
Dan Woog absolutely deserves to have a soccer field named after him. I am proud to have known Dan for decades. I worked closely with him on the Terrace the Hill project. (along with Pete Romano and Melanie Nangle) For years, I have enjoyed 06880, watched Dan work behind the scorer’s table at our Staples basketball games and enjoyed our brief chats at the YMCA. I remain grateful for his continued, selfless dedication to our community.
Trump has given permission for the hate mongers to come out from under their rock’s, deluding them into believing proselytizing ignorant, dangerous narrow minded vile is now somehow acceptable in our society.
When I served on the RTM back in the 90’s, Tony Lowe was the moderator. Tony would never have given this type of behavior any oxygen.
I am herby formally requesting the current RTM Moderator publicly sanction Victoria Wylie for her “hate speech” and strip away all of her committee assignments.
The U.S. Supreme Court reaffirmed permission for this type of disturbing homophobic, hate speech language in the Matal v Tam case from 2017, which you may not agree with, nonetheless it is legal.
I find it ironic, the majority of our civilized society recognizes the damage caused by ignorant, hateful people, yet somehow we must remain tolerant of any individual’s right to be intolerant.
While Newton’s Third Law of Motion states every action has an equal and opposite action, those who care deeply about people’s rights to live freely, safely, equally without trepidation, regardless of race, creed, or gender, appear have no equal and opposite reaction to rid humanity of this mindset.
While education would appear to be the logical path towards enlightenment, awareness requires time while the damage is immediate.
RTM members; name that field after Dan Woog.
Victoria; you do have the right to live in this amazing community, say whatever comes into your simple mind but we are not obligated to agree with you, nor respect you.
Joseph Vallone, A.I.A.
Now that a couple of days have passed and the rending of garments and tearing of hair has subsided a bit and perhaps a little reality can be incorporated into the debate, here are a few facts. A suggestion/petition has been presented to the RTM for a renaming and placing of a plaque on the Wakeman Field honoring Dan Woog. One would think that such an honor was being considered based on his performance as a soccer coach. But the reasons presented by the petitioner seemed to be based more on his performance as a LGBTQ advocate. Upon doing a little research I found out that the winningest soccer coach in Staples history is Jeff Lea with 5 state championships and 12 FCIAC wins. If the field should be renamed after anyone, it should be him.
Sharon, it seems you did too little research. Albie Loeffler’s Staples squads won more state and FCIAC titles than Jeff’s did. And, while Jeff’s achievements as a Staples soccer coach were indeed significant—and he is thankfully finally being inducted into the Connecticut Soccer Hall of Fame this year—Dan’s combined record of accomplishment in soccer as a writer, youth coach, and high school coach rises to an even higher level.
Plus, Dan co-founded the Westport Soccer Association (which Jeff would acknowledge helped provide a pipeline of talent for the success that happened during the years Jeff coached at Staples).
When I reached out to Staples soccer alums to inform them of the RTM’s proposal, the excerpted responses below from two CT Soccer Hall of Fame inductees, one of whom played pro soccer, were representative of the reactions I received: “Damn, why didn’t I think of that? Great idea and so deserved.” and “Super news…So deserved and long overdue.”
So, the Westport soccer community absolutely embraces what the RTM is proposing and no one I know considers it a slight in any way to Jeff.
I object, naming a field for Dan Woog is too little an honor, almost a slight. As if he was only a coach.
44 years ago, Mr. Woog was my coach at Long Lots. He had great skill at coaching back then, this was the early 80’s. He had a million connections to the sport and was a respected community pillar.
He should get a statue for everything he has done for Westport. I honestly think his contribution is greater in preserving Westport history. But there is no doubt that he is among the few very top coaches in Westport.
I still remember when he started me at halfback on that fall afternoon, opening game. I wasn’t a star player but he put me out there, and to be honest I needed that little bit of boost. 8th grade can be tricky— a Rockyesque statue would be more apropo…
Full disclosure: as at least some readers know, Dan and I were soccer teammates at Staples starting with our junior varsity team in 1968 and have remained close friends since our high school days. Putting aside his significant accomplishments outside of soccer, from my perspective he unequivocally deserves this honor for all that he has achieved in the world of what is known as “the beautiful game.”
But there is no need to take my word for it. You just need to see why the Connecticut Soccer Hall of Fame inducted Dan in just its second-ever class of honorees in 2000. (Albie Loeffler was in the inaugural class.)
Dan’s induction was not simply for the success he had attained in Connecticut; it was in recognition too of what Dan had achieved at the national level.
I have copied and pasted below the Connecticut Soccer Hall of Fame’s bio of Dan. Again, this alone should be considered sufficient justification for naming the Wakeman B Field for Dan Woog.
DAN WOOG
Covered Staples High School Soccer for the Westport News (1969-1971, 1975-present). Executive Youth Editor of Soccer America’s Youth SOccer Letter. Frequent contributor to soccer magazines Soccer Journal, Soccer Junior, and U.S. Youth SOccer. Authored four soccer guide books. Seven-time award winner of the Professional Soccer Reporters Association writing contest. Two-time winner of the NSCAA writing contest. Recipient of the 1986 NEISL Media Award. 10 CJSA state championships at the U12, U14, and U16 levels. 1980 CJSA Coach of the Year Award. 1990 NSCAA National Youth Coach of the Year. Co-founder of the Westport Soccer Association in 1975. Appointed head coach, Staples High School boys program, 2003.
SINCE INDUCTION (Updated 9/20/2024): Dan Woog has continued his incredible soccer journey with essentially a second Hall of Fame career since his induction in the Class of 2000. Dan was appointed Staples High School head coach in 2003 (only the 3rd head coach in Staples storied 60-year history) and continued through 2021. Along with 4 FCIAC championships during his tenure, Staples won a state “LL” title and was ranked #1 in New England in 2009. In 18 years overall, he led Staples to an amazing 240 wins, 84 losses, and 50 ties. Woog was inducted into the FCIAC Hall of Fame in 2023. He created StaplesSoccer.com in 2001, one of the first high school sports websites in the nation, and served 10 years on Connecticut Soccer Coaches Association executive board. Woog also founded United Soccer Coaches’ LGBTQ coaches community and now serves on United Soccer Coaches board of directors, overseeing all advocacy groups (Black, Hispanic, API, Native American, women, high school, disabilities, LGBTQ, faith-based, active military and veterans). He added to his incredible journalistic accomplishments when he wrote and published “We Kick Balls: True Stories of the Youth Soccer Wars” – a memoir of my life in soccer.
It baffles me that people like Victoria Wylie continue to think it’s still 1950. I have this image of Wylie barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, obediently fetching her husband’s pipe and slippers while he smokes a cigar on his recliner.
I live a “gay lifestyle” as Wylie calls it. It entails working, paying my bills, going hiking and backpacking when I have time, reading, cooking, watching movies. Sometimes I bring flowers to and write poems for a guy I am in love with.
It’s really not so different from a straight lifestyle.
I did once try to live a straight lifestyle. After playing football at Staples (Class of ‘79) I served in a Marine Corps Force Recon unit, moved to Montana, married a wonderful woman and had a son.
But I became deeply depressed and attempted to take my life several times.
Why? Because people with dangerous, damaging archaic and ignorant attitudes — like those of Wylie — had me hating myself, and denying and suppressing my true self, because I was physically and emotionally attracted to other men. Because I fell in love with people folks like Wylie don’t approve of. Because apparently she fears and hates love she can’t understand.
I never played soccer for coach Dan Woog. But I consider him a friend, and a mentor. And although he may not know this, he helped save my life. How? Because through is writing, and actions, and courage, and his honesty and integrity, he showed me and many others that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being born gay, and that I should (and did) accept it, embrace it and recognize that love is love and it’s okay for me to love another man.
Why that scares people like Wylie I’ll never understand. But this I know: Dan Woog is not only a remarkable and accomplished soccer coach, but also a great, compassionate human being who has helped promote and advance diversity, acceptance and love.
That’s a pretty damn good lifestyle I’d say.
It’s too bad everyone doesn’t live their gay lifestyle in a non activist way that does not require referring to it at every opportunity. The gay activism that began in the 60s and first demanded tolerance (granted), then acceptance, then celebration, continued on to promotion and indoctrination and now ends up with litigation against and persecution of those who think it has gone way too far. The media, entertainment outlets, school system, etc. have relentlessly demanded more and more “rights”, including access to school age children….drag queen story hours, gay sex primers, gay focused clubs, etc. Nobody cares what adults do with each other but I do care about what they do children. I also care about the vitriolic, vindictive responses of gay activists to anyone who has the nerve to express the above concerns. The success of the activists in shutting down any debate has been amazing especially when so many people privately will express dismay but publicly are afraid of losing their jobs or even being harmed. They say when you are taking fire, it means you’re over the target; apparently so.
Characterizing yourself as, in some way, a victim, because your prejudices are not well received, is dishonest. Push back against intolerance is NOT intolerant. Not all views are equal. While everyone has the right to his or her opinion, they do not have the right to expect others to remain silent in the face of prejudice. It’s gaslighting to expect that your prejudices should be given equal treatment to fairness. We don’t buy it.
I continue to be perplexed by leftist conclusions regarding my comments. I have never given any indication that I am a victim of anything. You know why? Because I could not care less what you say or think about me. That’s why. If your nasty comments were to escalate to actionable harassment…..well then that would be a different story.
Your biases are not being well received, and your best response is to declare that anyone who does not support them is a “leftist.” In fact, all you know about the vast majority of us is that we do not hold biases about gay people. Most Westport republicans also support gay rights, and they are certainly not leftists.
Sharon Wylie,
The debate has clearly not been shut down, because you continue to repeat antiquated, harmful lies and misconceptions about gay people and our lives. Your words are not abstract opinions. They land in the real world, where they have consequences.
You are a clear example of why gay people and our straight allies become activists and continue to fight for basic rights, for dignity, and for understanding. These fights aren’t theoretical to us. They about survival.
I am a veteran of a Marine Corps Force Recon unit. Yet for years, I was not legally allowed to serve openly in the United States Marine Corps. Until recently, I was not allowed to marry the person I love. For much of my life, I had to fear for my safety simply for being gay—at a time when gay people were brutally beaten, murdered, arrested, harassed, and relentlessly targeted.
Many gay teenagers have taken their own lives after being convinced by voices like yours that they were abnormal, sinful, or broken.
That damage cannot be undone with hindsight or excuses. It is a direct result of rhetoric that dehumanized us and told us we did not belong.
Stop pretending you’re a victim. You are an ignorant bully with antiquated ideas that cause real harm to good people.
You should be ashamed of the role you continue to play in perpetuating these ideas. History has already shown how wrong your views are, and how much suffering they cause. Continuing to promote them now is not a matter of “disagreement”—it is a moral failure.
We will continue to fight, because we have to. Because our lives demand it. And because silence has never protected us.
Where did I say that I was a victim?. Your whole comment is about you being a victim, even though you have been granted your every wish. Also, please show me where I have said you should be denied your rights. To be clear, do whatever you want with another consenting adult. However,no one should have the right to introduce their sexual preferences into a school’s curriculum, gay or straight. The fact is that straight people are not and have not done that. BTW, maybe you missed all the teenagers suing after been medically and surgically mutilated after being talked into the idea that they are trans. Why would any parent want their child to be counseled by school staff on these life altering matters? Are we to believe that gay counseling is talking them out of such decisions? Furthermore, are you aware that anal sex is considered the most dangerous sex one can participate in? The AIDS epidemic made that fact common knowledge in the effort to curb the spread. Are gay counselors discouraging that? I took some of the books placed in our schools ( at the urging of LGBGT activists), out of the library and found much information on the mechanics of sex acts and even advice on web sites to hook up with partners. Children, even teens are impressionable and vulnerable. Many are bullied for a variety of reasons, not just for being gay. The schools have not been as adept at handling that as they should be. Having said that, adults with agendas should not be given carte blanche regarding their influence on students just because they demand it. Anyone who thinks they should are the ones who should be ashamed of themselves and stopped by parents and teachers who love their kids.
Initially I was concerned that my friend would be pained by being subjected to the intentionally hurtful opinions and commentary these consistently few residents feel compelled to publicly espouse. However, on further reflection, although he will probably be disappointed (and perhaps even disheartened) to see perpetuation of the Wylie’s viewpoints in our community, given his character in conjunction with decades of experience with such mean-spirited individuals, I’m pretty certain that Dan won’t be fazed in the slightest – at least I hope so.
While it is generally useless to argue with individuals whose judgements are indelibly ingrained, there is merit and importance in acknowledging, denouncing, and exposing its existence, and its origin once identified.
As means to deny any accusation that their objection and premise is steeped in homophobia, the Wylies attempt to convince their audience that “inadequate qualifications and credentials” are the actual reasons for their public denouncements. However, that they chose to so object while admittedly being primarily ignorant of Dan’s wealth and breadth of accomplishments, honors, accolades, and his broad base of support by those who do know, seems to suggest that their assertion is merely a ruse to camouflage an ingrained homophobia and prejudice that they perhaps cannot bare to recognize in themselves. Given the facts, an apology would be the appropriate course of action. There is no shame in admitting a mistake.
However, that the Wylies are knowingly expressing, and then doubling down on their objectionable opinions and commentary in the face of the facts, the clear and evident overwhelming support by the RTM, as well as Westport’s sports community and the longstanding Westport residents who will certainly approve of this renaming proposal, indicates that the Wylies are merely using this as an opportunity to garner attention, and publicly espouse their platform by throwing punches primarily intended to cause pain. That seems to me to be the foremost objective at play.
Which, unfortunately, is their protected right to do.
However, while I find that decision to be disheartening, the Wileys have, once again, done our community a service by showing Westport’s residents, our Town political leadership, Ms. Wiley’s constituents, their neighbors, their business clients and associates, their acquaintances and future relationships, who they are, how they process information, what they believe, their character, and how they chose to treat others.
None of this surprises those who have read their similar drivel in their past commentary.
However, what IS surprising to me, is that instead of supporting Clarence Hayes in the November 2025 election, the District 4 residents voted for this person to represent their voice in matters of consequence. If the reason for that choice was that “We didn’t know”, this illustrates the importance of knowing who you are voting for prior to making that meaningful decision. This will hopefully be a lesson learned to be corrected next election.
I don’t know if Mr. Vallone’s request for Jeff Wieser to sanction Ms. Wylie for expressing her opinions is legally defensible – I don’t believe the RTM prohibits such, doubt that there are punitive standards, and I imagine that Ira Bloom will need to weigh in on that.
However District 4’s constituents might be interested to learn that Westport Town Charter’s provision 38-6 RECALL permits the removal from office the holder of any elective office for failure of performance or improper performance, with provisions for recall and for requesting another election for representative replacement. Something for District 4 and their 3 other RTM representatives to consider.
I do not know if this proposal will require RTM debate and approval prior to being presented to the Parks and Recreation Commission for their endorsement. Ultimately I imagine it will be brought before the PRC, the RTM and BoS for discussion and approval. However, wherever and whenever it is discussed, if the Wylies remain determined to voice opposition, continue to express these opinions, and engage in debating the issue publicly, THAT will be worth the price of admission – something to look forward to. If so, I predict that the Wylies will ultimately be honored with the indelible notoriety that they have worked hard to deserve.
It’s unfortunate that the Wylies have decided to promote themselves by a determination to dull the sparkle of this honor with their insalubrious mentality. However, not only have they failed in that attempt, in so doing they have spectacularly succeeded in shining an inglorious spotlight upon themselves that will not soon be forgotten by Westport’s community.
Fortunately, at least in OUR community, the vocality of these few individuals represents insignificant background noise – the death rattle of a flatlining archaic breed that these relics are desperately trying to resuscitate to no avail…which twists their knickers mercilessly. Kind of funny to witness.
Congratulations Dan…well deserved.
No, not the least “ kind of funny to witness”. Sickening actually in this day and age. All those years of Dan interacting with teenagers and not a comment but today a far away presence in Washington DC has allowed opinions such as those of the Wylies to be aired in public, loudly. It is heartening, that on this forum, no one has agreed with them. But I think enough has been said on this subject and we should just leave it to the RTM. I wish it could be a unanimous vote tho.
I have one question for Victoria and Sharon Wylie: Are you Dan’s PR agents? Because you are doing an amazing job making sure Dan receives this honor in a landslide. As a marketing professional, I’m jealous. Well done. Very clever. Hats off.
I will say that Dan was my first soccer coach, in 1976 and 1977, and I can still remember all the gay clubs we went to before, during and after games. The halftime shows were awesome! (But I can’t really get into it, this is a family website.) On tournament road trips, we spent all of our down time watching Heated Rivalry, even though it wouldn’t be released to the general public for another fifty years. It still holds up!
Man, I miss those times. They were the best.
The dishonesty in many, if not most, of these comments is the most revealing aspect of this whole debate. No one is willing to admit that this award is about LGBT activism. Jeff Leas 5 state championships are not as good as Dan Woog’s record, according to a comment above ,because of all of his other achievements.(?) The same person says the founder of the program, Albie Loeffler, also had a better soccer record than Coach Lea. Well, if this award is about soccer why isn’t the founder and best record holder not having the field renamed for him? You will not admit that you want to honor Dan Woog for his
homosexual activities in town. If you believe that, own it. Certainly, Westport is about the best shot anyone would have of getting the town residents approval on that basis.
Sharon: the founder of the Staples soccer program, Alhie Loeffler, already has a field named after him at Staples. It’s the field the boys’ varsity played on for many decades before switching over to Wakeman B.
We should all celebrate Sharon Wylie’s resilience in the face of modern ideas and attitudes. Whatever you may say about her, you can’t deny that she’s a human backboard: The tennis ball keeps coming back. Sure, the felt is worn, the holes are huge, and the thing just doesn’t fly as well as it used to. But here it comes again and again. Yawn.