“I turned down the idea three or four times,” admits Nicolas Cage, referring to “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.” But then he received an impassioned letter from co-writer/director Tom Gormican  (who wrote the script with Tim Etten) which made him reconsider.

In this absurdist movie, Cage plays an aging, depressed movie star, increasingly alienated from his ex-wife Olivia (Sharon Horgan) and teenage daughter Addy (Lily Sheen), who don’t share his passion for old horror films like “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” (1920). 

If he weren’t so deep in debt – owing $600,000 to the Sunset Towers Hotel – a.k.a. the fabled Chateau Marmont – where he’s been living for the past year – he’d retire.  But then his agent (Neil Patrick Harris) shows him a million-dollar offer to make an appearance at the birthday party of billionaire Javi Gutierrez (Pablo Pascal) in Mallorca, Spain.

Much to the dismay of his arrogant, obnoxious, much-younger alter-ego, known as Nicky, Cage reluctantly accepts. Then he’s recruited by two C.I.A. agents (Tiffany Haddish, Bo Barinholtz) to spy on Gutierrez, whom they identify as a dangerous international arms dealer. 

Apparently, Gutierrez has kidnapped a politician’s teenage daughter who is being held captive somewhere on his compound.  So, under the pretext of working with Gutierrez on the screenplay he’s written for him, Cage takes LSD and goes cliff-diving.  Meanwhile, he’s snooping around.

So much for plot. That’s basically irrelevant compared with copious references to Cage’s extensive filmography – including “The Rock,” “Leaving Las Vegas,” “Face/Off,” “National Treasure,” along with “Captain Corelli’s Mandolin,” “Guarding Tess,” “Mandy” and “The Wicker Man” remake. Plus, there are cameos with director David Gordon Green and actress Demi Moore.

Emphasizing the close relationship between Nicky and Cage, he French kisses himself. And in the credits, the sleazy character of Nicky is played by Nicolas Kim Coppola, which is Cage’s birth name. He’s a nephew of Francis Ford Coppola.

On the Granger Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent” is a satirical, surrealistic, self-mocking 6, playing in theaters.

I knew Fanny Brice. My mother’s close friend was Fanny’s daughter Fran Stark whose husband Ray Stark produced “Funny Girl” with Barbra Streisand. When I met Fanny in the late 1940s, she was best known on radio as “Baby Snooks.”

After Fanny’s death in 1951, Ray Stark wanted to make a movie about his mother-in-law, commissioning several scripts including one by Isobel Lennart. But it wasn’t until Jule Style heard Barbra Streisand sing in a Greenwich Village nightclub that his Broadway musical concept with Bob Merrill came together.

From the beginning, “Funny Girl” was conceived as a star vehicle, written and directed to display then-21 year-old Streisand’s wistful appeal and spectacular ability to embody a song. 

The story showcased Fanny in the Ziegfeld Follies because she didn’t look like other glamorous showgirls. Instead, she relied on Jewish humor and her sassy, comedic talent.  Fanny’s most famous songs were “Second Hand Rose” and “My Man,” both dropped from the current “Funny Girl” revival.

Instead, Harvey Fierstein sharpened the dialogue and revised the second act to focus on the incompatibility and disintegrating marriage between Fanny and her charming con-man/gambler Nick Arnstein, epitomized by their “Who Are You Now” ballad. Aware of his wife’s sensitivity about her parents, Ray Stark previously glossed over Nick Arnstein’s duplicity.

Which brings me to 28-year-old Beanie Feldstein, most recently seen as Monica Lewinsky in TV’s “Impeachment: American Crime Story.” Ms. Feldstein is a deft character actress, often cast as quirky or eccentric – where her penchant for ‘making comic faces’ might perhaps be more appropriate. She has a sweet, if unremarkable, singing voice, best displayed as she pleads “Don’t Rain on My Parade.”

On the other hand, tenor Ramin Karimloo scores as suave Nicky Arnstein, particularly singing the title song “Funny Girl” and reprising “People.” As Fanny’s friend Eddie, Jared Grimes delivers terrific tap-dancing, choreographed by Ayodele Casel.  And Jane Lynch wrings wry laughter as Fanny’s mother.

Director Michael Meyer does the best he can with the cards he’s dealt, but David Zinn’s set, dominated by two staircases and a huge brick tower, is bizarre.

To go or not to go? That is the question. Ruefully, I’d recommend streaming the original 1968 movie on Amazon, Prime Video, Apple iTunes or Vudu.

Set in 1937, a luxurious honeymoon riverboat cruise ends in murder in Kenneth Branagh’s new version of “Death on the Nile,” a follow-up to his “Murder on the Orient Express” (2017).

Playing Agatha Christie’s mustachioed Belgian detective, Branagh’s wryly ostentatious Hercule Poirot is a last-minute addition, along with his friend Bouc (Tom Bateman), to the lavish honeymoon party of glamorous heiress Linnet Ridgeway Doyle (Gal Gadot) and her dashing new husband, Simon Doyle (Armie Hammer).

Other cruise passengers – and, of course, suspects – include Linnet’s French maid Louise (Rose Leslie), Linnet’s lawyer/cousin Andrew Katchadourian (Ali Fazel), and her eccentric godmother Marie Van Schuyler (Jennifer Saunders) with her nurse/companion Bowers (Dawn French). 

Plus there’s elderly painter Euphemia Boue (Annette Bening), aristocratic Dr. Linus Windlesham (Russell Brand), guitar-playing nightclub singer Salome Otterbourne (Sophie Okonedo) and her clever niece/manager Rosalie (Letitia Wright). 

Unexpectedly joining them on the S.S. Karnak paddleboat steamer is Simon’s resentful ex, Jacqueline de Bellefort (Emma Mackey) , toting an ornate .22 caliber pistol in her purse, as they glide past the ancient pyramids of Giza and the colossal Pharaoh Ramses II statues at Abu Simbel.

Working with screenwriter Michael Green, actor/director Branagh condenses so much that he never fully explores the subtle nuances of his rich cast of characters in what seems like a foregone conclusion to the whodunit, particularly when compared with screenwriter Anthony Shaffer’s 1978 version in which Peter Ustinov, Bette Davis and Maggie Smith exchanged barbs.

FYI: Agatha Christie’s literary sleuth, Hercule Poirot, has been played most memorably by Peter Ustinov (“Death on the Nile”) and Albert Finney (“Murder on the Orient Express”) – also by David Suchet (“Agatha Christie’s Poirot”), Tony Randall (“The Alphabet Murders”), Alfred Molina (“Murder on the Orient Express”), Hugh Laurie (“Spice World”), and Austin Trevor (“Lord Edgeware Dies”).

On the Granger Gauge, “Death on the Nile” is a caricatured, frenzied 5, streaming on Hulu, HBO Max and Disney+.